As with any trained person whose expertise you want to access – a graphic designer, a doctor, a sports coach, a financial planner, a career advisor - there are outstanding ones and there are ones who should genuinely be avoided. And the good ones are not necessarily the ones who are shouting the loudest or have the ‘trappings’ that go with success (infact often the opposite).
You’ll know the good ones because they love their work, they’re patient, they’re respectful and they’ll talk to you like they’re interested – because they authentically are – and you’ll probably hear about them from a satisfied client long before you’re hit by flash marketing stories. On the subject of psychotherapists – many can make some difference – although can they make THE difference, for YOU, right now?
When you’ve got to the point of not accepting another day with depression, anxiety, panic attacks or anorexia – use this checklist as a guide to finding the help you need.
An effective counsellor of psychotherapist:
- understands depression and how to lift it
- helps immediately with anxiety problems such as panic attacks, nightmares, post traumatic stress, phobias and trauma
- is prepared to give information and advice as needed
- will not use jargon or ‘psychobabble’ or tell you that counselling or psychotherapy has to be painful
- will not dwell unduly on the past
- will be supportive when difficult feelings emerge, but won’t encourage people to get emotional beyond the normal need to let go of bottled up feelings
- will help you to both draw and build upon your own inner resources (which may prove greater than you thought)
- may assist you to develop your social skills so that your needs for affection, friendship, pleasure, intimacy, connection to the wider community etc can be better fulfilled
- will be considerate of the effects of counselling on the people close to you
- may teach you to relax deeply
- will help you to think about your problems in new and more empowering ways
- uses a wide range of techniques as appropriate
- may ask you to do things between sessions
- will take as few sessions as possible
- will increase your self-confidence and independence and make sure you feel better after every consultation.